Friday, March 15, 2013

Riding vs Exams

A dilemma that all riders who're still students face. What would you choose if you had exams very soon? Riding your favourite horse? Or studying for your exams?

I'm not a smart person, academically. I'm not an A student and I used to fail all my subjects except Science and English back in secondary/primary school. I'm no longer failing, but getting bad grades is not uncommon. So I should be studying, right?

I stressed over this decision. If I stayed home, I would be distracted and would keep thinking about Ruby and riding. I would be more stressed, agitated and anxious than I already am. It has been a rough month. As mentioned in my previous posts, I encouraged mum to continue with her lessons even if I'm not going so that she could catch up with me. Unfortunately, it's human nature to get jealous. So if I didn't ride, I'd have all sorts of negative emotions in me, resulting in a VERY dark and depressing cloud over my head.

But if I went riding, I would be spending 12 hours +away from my laptop where all my studying materials are. I would be wasting time. My exams are starting on the 25th. I haven't started studying. I only have a week to cram an entire semester. Can I do it? Probably. Will I remember what I crammed? Not so much. I wanted to take these two Saturdays off from riding so that I could give myself a headstart, maybe avoid not remembering what I crammed into a cram.

But would I be able to even concentrate on my studies if I didn't ride? I would definitely regret not seeing Ruby for so long. I would regret not taking the chance to ride some more. Riding has become an addiction for me... sort of. I don't seem to get enough of it. Only an hour a week and in just two days, I'm feeling nostalgic again. By the time the next Saturday arrives, I feel as if I hadn't ridden in a whole year. Sure, I've hurt myself, nearly gotten thrown off more than a couple of times, had a tough time trying to get my muscles working from a couch potato state, all sorts of problems. It hasn't stopped me from wanting to ride again.

I gave up torturing my brain. My friends told me to go ride too. I needed a way to de-stress. I needed something to help take my mind off exams. I definitely needed Ruby. I lost this battle of pleasure versus work. I called mum and told her to book my session. Guess I'll just zombie through my exams as I did last semester... Except, I'd be happier thanks to Ruby. I've decided that if I don't finish studying by next Saturday, I won't ride next Sat. I HAVE to at least finish studying 3 subjects... At least I only have 4 exams this sem and already have one Distinction at hand...

At least my addiction would be slightly soothed this week... And maybe, just maybe, my self-challenge can push me to study harder before next Saturday...

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